It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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