I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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