I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We were destined to go to rehab together
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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