I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize