dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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