Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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