I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize