wat bout pragnant strippers??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
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