He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize