Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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