I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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