Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think your dad took our porno
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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