I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize