Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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