the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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