So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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