Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize