he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize