She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
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i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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