Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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