So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize