You're so nebulous sometimes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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