I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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