What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize