she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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