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But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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