someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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