i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize