Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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