I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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