Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pants are for mortals
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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