um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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