Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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