Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize