I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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