he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
this is an emotional support booty call
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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