What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize