I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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