If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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