There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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