what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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