You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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