i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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