Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize