she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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