Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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