I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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