giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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