This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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