sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
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you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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